Vanish
Its New Years.
My Resolution : To become invisible.
I'm tired of hurting.
I'm tired of hurting other people.
Hurting the people i love the most.
My family, my friends.
Why can't i just disappear?
That would make it easier on me.
Make it easier on my loved ones.
My life is turning in the wrong direction.
My best friend is gone.
I can't breath.
Life, itself, is suffocating me.
I'm slipping away.
My friends can see it.
It's causing them hurt.
I could vanish.
They wouldn't hurt for long.
They would build a bridge and get over it.
I'm finding myself cryng more than i should.
I've become so bloody emotional.
I would ask for help, normally.
But, what i really need, is for my loved ones to back off.
Let me hit rock bottom.
I need the experience.
I need to be able to pull my own self back up.
Please, i'm begging you.
Don't hurt because of me.
Your making it worse.
I'm a horrible person.
My New Years Resolution : Dis-a-freaking-pear
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Cori, If you can admit to being a horrible person, then you shouldn't have to go thru the experience of hitting rock bottom. You have already taking the first hand hold to pull yourself up. So find someone who truly cares about you and allow them to help you.
ReplyDeleteTalk to your school counselor, your parents, or your pastor or priest. Find someone that you can truly open up to. Someone with experience, that you can trust with confidentiality. I'm not a counselor, therapist, preacher or anything except a father of a sixteen year old daughter who sometimes has trouble with her feelings.
May God Bless you and your family.
Cori,
ReplyDeleteI hope and pray for you that you will not hit rock bottom. I would never wish that upon anyone. Your poetry however is beautiful. You have a gift of writing and should be very proud. Never give up and never look down. Take the time to further your wonderful writing ability.
Cori,
ReplyDeleteSurround yourself with the people who love you and accept their love. Trust yourself. This too shall pass. Continue writing...you have a gift!
Cori,
ReplyDeleteLet out your feelings in your writing because it is amazing. But please, do not hit "rock bottom." No matter how bad you think you have it, there is always someone who has it worse. Find small things that make you happy, embrace yourself in those, and realize that your loved ones only want to help. That's what parents do! I'm 24 and when I was your age, I didn't realize that, but it's true. They only want the best for you. Your best is yet to come!
Cori,
ReplyDeleteYou really do have a gift for writng. I love your poem; however, I can feel your pain through your poem. I don't know if you believe in a higher power, but if you do, talk to him in prayer. God has the ability to turn what may seem like a horrible situation into a blessing. Please speak with a loved one or someone you trust about whatever the problem is and trust that God will work it out. God does not put more on us than we can bare. Trust someone and be blessed. My prayers are with you.